That one moment every lady looks forward to in her life is her wedding day. her life being married, and all the quirks and perks that being married brings. All the talks and fantasies of being married tend to unknowingly mount some sort of tension in our minds leading to an unnoticed build up of most times unrealistic expectations from our intended and ourselves.
These few points I have taken out time to research and bring to you can help you carry out some self restraining measures to ensure a smooth start to your journey through happy-ever-after.
- Saying “I do” is not an invitation to immortality. As serious a deal as marriage can be, saying “I do” won’t change your spouse overnight into all your teenage girl shinning knights fantasies. As a matter of fact, saying I do does the complete opposite and reveals the weakness and strength of the man you want to be with. So be sure you see what’s there and not what you want to see.
- It’s not a funeral of individuality. As ladies, it’s easy for us to offer our freedom up for a smooth sailing journey through marriage( if there is ever anything like that) and we tend to force the guys to do same in words or actions or both. Selling yourselves as pretenders or not knowing what you want which are both bad signs. You want to give up your individuality, feel free but don’t expect him to make your choice. allow a little chance for him to feel like he’s not being caged like he is still alive and still has choices and by Gods grace watch him make the right ones. Who likes a caged lion?
- That dream wedding, doesn’t promise a dream marriage. All the Cinderella stories and settings, the mime, the groove, the talk of the town, the appearance of all societal who is who….. it all ends at most after the after party. Some people may even attend two more weddings within the next week, a funeral, a birthday party, you just name it. All the dream setting all forgotten. But that’s what most single ladies bother themselves with. The most insignificant part of it all the wedding ceremony. And unlike everybody else who lives in the present, they mistake a perfect wedding for a perfect marriage. Ladies the ceremony may be perfect. But when you experience imperfect moments in marriage, don’t get discouraged get to work and start praying, feeling positive and changing in the right ways. You had eight months to plan a wedding ceremony in marriage, you don’t even get eight seconds warning before some moments happen on you.
- Never heard Men fall from Tress. “And they shall leave to cleave and the two shall become one flesh” trust me God said that, the pastor repeated it, your parents heard him, his parents heard him, you both heard him, everyone present heard him and a lot of loved ones absent prayed the pastor said it and everyone heard him. Yeah sure they all heard selectively I mean…… however good or bad that turns out to be, if you keep it in mind that he didn’t fall from a tree and whatever it implies, you’ll be happier and won’t let bad or wrong family members affect your matrimonial bliss. Maybe hard but can be done. And trust me with a clean heart and intention, it’s one battle God has got your back on. But remember your spouse to be is not a mango fruit. He was nurtured, cared for and loved even prayed for. So you may be unaccepted but he’s loved. You may be treated wrong but he’s treated right. You threaten the roots you affect the fruit. Keep this in mind. Some battles without discretion, that wisdom brings are destined for failure.
- You have high expectations, he does too. Tall, dark, handsome, rich, hardworking, Godfearing, father material, perfect husband, all the lovely attributes our fantasies have been opened to, reflect in our expectations and sometimes I won’t say they are impossible, but I’ll call them premature. This is because we also have things required and expected of us. And just as we would silently plead for a little patience and assistance he would require the same. It’s a silent exchange. A necessary one to be happy in marriage. I’m not saying lower your expectations I’m saying be real about them. And be ready to do the remaining build up and work to get him to where you want to be. He’s not perfect and sure as hell isn’t promising perfection. He just wants to share his imperfect life with you. Don’t be a burden be a relief.
Credit: H.S. Savvy
“All that technology would make you happy and keep you looking valid, but really, the best things in life are free!”
One of the best ways to maintain sanity in a strange land is to keep your happiness within your reach!!! I mean, you must get to that point where…. your sense of self is not over exaggerated but adequately acknowledged and accepted by you yourself.
Here are a few ways to achieve that:
Pay attention to yourself, know what ticks you, know what keeps you moving, understand your moods. This would help you relate better with others. And give you a soft landing as you try to adapt or settle into your new environment.
Come to terms with your flaws and strength, and in a very humanly possible way, try to blend in without disturbing your own mental balance and that of people around you. This takes extra mind work but is possible and important. It helps you define who you are before some misconstrued perceptions others may have about you ruffle you up. That alone gives you confidence. Which is very important when you are miles away from home or an environment where your supply of love and security is assured.
New can be cool, free your mind from the assumption, norms and what’s ideal. I’m not saying change who you are or what you have known. But give your mind space to see a new type of life and be willing to experience it in an unbiased way. Try new food, gestures and some basic things that would make you a bit more acceptable.
Time: until you fall in love with the place and decide to settle in permanently, you are only required to spend a year, surely if you are not a one-year-old baby, you know one year is a short time. Something about time intensifies our thresh-hold for pain, or discomfort, maybe because there’s that assurance that it won’t last forever. This sort of helps you make out the best of your time. Keep time in mind.
The problem was that I wasn’t even sure I was going to graduate.
That was a big problem! All i did was sleep and when culminated, it would have added a good seven or eight months to my life Span.
Wow!! Was my dumbfounded response when my course mate called to say “babes, Wasup? When you are coming to pick your call up letter don’t forget to bring my T-shirt oh!!!”
Okay……… what call up letter would that be?
Mr lecturer had spotted me a few weeks to my final year exam and swore to test his devil strength on me!! So I don’t know what call up letter Allen intends to use to draw this snake out of her hole.
And just like magic, he goes on to say “yeah I copied your call up number for you before the list gets torn by the wild ones, do you have a pen there?”
“Uuuuuummmmmmm” was all I could say
“ Allen, did you see the spelling right? I mean…. did you see my name well? you know now, all the issues with ‘Mr Rat’ did you really see my name?”
Allen is the really smart one, so I felt bad as soon as that came out but I needed to be sure. “ yes now! Or has your name changed from………….? Plus you’ll buy me this unit you’re playing lawyer with! Your call-up number is 441231, and don’t forget to come with my ‘T’ shirt!”
“Wow” that’s all I could say before he hung up. No ‘thanks’, nothing, just ‘wow’.
To be continued….
A Red Red Rose
O, my Luve’s like a red, red rose,
That’s newly sprung in June.
O, my Luve’s like a melodie
That’s sweetly play’d in tune.
As fair as thou, my bonnie lass,
So deep in luve am I;
And I will love thee still, my dear,
Till all the seas gang dry.
Till all the seas gang dry, my dear,
And the rocks melt wi’ the sun:
I will love thess till, my dear,
While the sands o’ life shall run:
And fare thee well, my only luve!
And fare thee weel, a while!
And I will come again, my luve,
Tho’ it ware ten thousand mile.
Poem by: Robert Burns
Photo Credit: @mikkygold_luv_
Attention Corpers and fans of Corper Naija!
We are having an Open Corper Photo Shoot now in search for beautiful/handsome corpers, new and old corpers to grace our new portfolio.
When: Weekends ONLY starting June 9th to 30th 2018
Time: 9am – 11am or 4pm to 6pm
Location: Abuja (for now)
What: Complimentary mini-sessions with our talented Associate Photographers. You will receive 5 free digital files for your time!
Signup: We only have room for a few corpers. If you’re interested, please reply by sending an email to firstname.lastname@example.org or send sms to 08111533315 asap to be added to our list!
Hurry, these will go fast!
My African Queen (by Olajide Oribamise)
She is a beautiful dark lady born and raised in Africa.
I find her so beautiful,that when she comes to mind,
I become overwhelmed and speechless because I am heavily captivated by everything in her.
I was more dumbfounded when I saw her today because I saw her in a beautifully braided crown which I adored.
Her eyebrows and eye lashes make-up complimented her illustrious shining brown eyes.
Her lovely nose and dark lips enticed me when she stepped out of the changing room.
She had this gorgeous African jewelry on her ears and beautiful neck that glorified her succulent brown skin.
Her fitted braided top showed a glimpse of what she has.
There is no doubt that she is endowed and an epitome of African beauty as she stood before the audience, basking in their applause.
My African Queen has this scintillating beauty i seldom see.
She reminds me of the beautiful scenery of Motherland, Africa.
President Muhammadu Buhari on Thursday signed the Not-Too-Young-To-Run Bill into law. Buhari signed the bill into law at the Council Chambers of the Presidential Villa, Abuja, barely two days after he promised to do so.
The law reduces the age qualification for president from 40 to 35; governor from 35 to 30; senator from 35 to 30; House of Representatives membership from 30 to 25 and State House of Assembly membership from 30 to 25. In his Democracy Day address on Tuesday, the President had promised to sign the bill into law “in a few days’ time.”
The National Assembly had passed the bill last year, altering sections 65, 106, 131, 177 of the Constitution to reduce the constitutional age requisition for president from 40 to 30; that of the governor from 35 to 30; senator from 35 to 30; House of Representatives membership from 30 to 25 and State House of Assembly membership from 30 to 25.
Source: Punch Newspapers