That one moment every lady looks forward to in her life is her wedding day. her life being married, and all the quirks and perks that being married brings. All the talks and fantasies of being married tend to unknowingly mount some sort of tension in our minds leading to an unnoticed build up of most times unrealistic expectations from our intended and ourselves.
These few points I have taken out time to research and bring to you can help you carry out some self restraining measures to ensure a smooth start to your journey through happy-ever-after.
- Saying “I do” is not an invitation to immortality. As serious a deal as marriage can be, saying “I do” won’t change your spouse overnight into all your teenage girl shinning knights fantasies. As a matter of fact, saying I do does the complete opposite and reveals the weakness and strength of the man you want to be with. So be sure you see what’s there and not what you want to see.
- It’s not a funeral of individuality. As ladies, it’s easy for us to offer our freedom up for a smooth sailing journey through marriage( if there is ever anything like that) and we tend to force the guys to do same in words or actions or both. Selling yourselves as pretenders or not knowing what you want which are both bad signs. You want to give up your individuality, feel free but don’t expect him to make your choice. allow a little chance for him to feel like he’s not being caged like he is still alive and still has choices and by Gods grace watch him make the right ones. Who likes a caged lion?
- That dream wedding, doesn’t promise a dream marriage. All the Cinderella stories and settings, the mime, the groove, the talk of the town, the appearance of all societal who is who….. it all ends at most after the after party. Some people may even attend two more weddings within the next week, a funeral, a birthday party, you just name it. All the dream setting all forgotten. But that’s what most single ladies bother themselves with. The most insignificant part of it all the wedding ceremony. And unlike everybody else who lives in the present, they mistake a perfect wedding for a perfect marriage. Ladies the ceremony may be perfect. But when you experience imperfect moments in marriage, don’t get discouraged get to work and start praying, feeling positive and changing in the right ways. You had eight months to plan a wedding ceremony in marriage, you don’t even get eight seconds warning before some moments happen on you.
- Never heard Men fall from Tress. “And they shall leave to cleave and the two shall become one flesh” trust me God said that, the pastor repeated it, your parents heard him, his parents heard him, you both heard him, everyone present heard him and a lot of loved ones absent prayed the pastor said it and everyone heard him. Yeah sure they all heard selectively I mean…… however good or bad that turns out to be, if you keep it in mind that he didn’t fall from a tree and whatever it implies, you’ll be happier and won’t let bad or wrong family members affect your matrimonial bliss. Maybe hard but can be done. And trust me with a clean heart and intention, it’s one battle God has got your back on. But remember your spouse to be is not a mango fruit. He was nurtured, cared for and loved even prayed for. So you may be unaccepted but he’s loved. You may be treated wrong but he’s treated right. You threaten the roots you affect the fruit. Keep this in mind. Some battles without discretion, that wisdom brings are destined for failure.
- You have high expectations, he does too. Tall, dark, handsome, rich, hardworking, Godfearing, father material, perfect husband, all the lovely attributes our fantasies have been opened to, reflect in our expectations and sometimes I won’t say they are impossible, but I’ll call them premature. This is because we also have things required and expected of us. And just as we would silently plead for a little patience and assistance he would require the same. It’s a silent exchange. A necessary one to be happy in marriage. I’m not saying lower your expectations I’m saying be real about them. And be ready to do the remaining build up and work to get him to where you want to be. He’s not perfect and sure as hell isn’t promising perfection. He just wants to share his imperfect life with you. Don’t be a burden be a relief.
Credit: H.S. Savvy